Yoga and Grief: Yoga Poses for When You Just Feel Like Sh!t
On loss, grief, and moving beyond the fear of death.
I feel like utter shit, what can I say.
My 15-year-old dog transitioned this week... my sweet Hummer… My boy…
And no, I’m not ready to write about it (although I have journaled and cried about it plenty), so you’ll have to find contentment with this adorable pic of us.
Today I wanted to write about grief, though.
Hopefully, this isn’t news to you, but we’re all gonna die.
Not only that, but I also have been aware for some time now, that the only constant in life is change, and so change, and die we must.
In my family, talking about death has always been odd… almost as if it is something to be ashamed of and should be hidden. I used to choke up only thinking about the idea of my mum and dad dying, I used to avoid thinking about death at all costs.
Through the most incredible friendships though, and as I continue to explore the path and teachings of yoga, I’ve found myself curious, and ready to let go of Maya, the illusion, and move beyond fear, learning to flow with the rawness of loss and grief.
In her brilliant book, Rising Strong, Brené Brown writes “We run from grief because loss scares us, yet our hearts reach toward grief because the broken parts want to mend. We can’t rise strong when we’re on the run.”
And trust, me, I’ve sure felt like running, lately. Running from death, from the pain, from the empty spaces.
I am learning to normalize that it is okay to cry one moment and laugh the next; that some mornings I sob as I write in my journal because I miss him so much, and other mornings I sit in the sunshine and think of the fun we had for 15 years and smile at the thought of my sweet puppy.
I am learning that grief isn’t linear, and perhaps I am okay with it all.
So many of us are struggling with grief, whether from the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or even just the loss of our sense of normalcy. It can be hard to find the energy to get out of bed, let alone move your body in any meaningful way, or even at all.
Even as a yoga teacher, moving my body was truly hard the first couple of days; sometimes this physical holding is a way of unconsciously refusing to acknowledge that the loss has actually taken place…
As I took time in nature, and to cry, and to miss my dog, I allowed myself deeper breaths and eventually, slow, conscious movement, and for a moment, it all just felt a little better.
Sometimes it’s just hard to remember.
So, in honour of all the times we’ve felt like shit and turned to yoga for solace, even when the body and the mind wanted to refuse, and in honour of my sweet Hummer, here are some of my favourite yoga poses (and beyond) for grief and when life just simply sucks.
Child’s Pose (Balasana)
Rest your forehead on a block or the mat, or for even more release, lay your torso over a few pillows or a bolster. Breathe deeply into your back body and let yourself soften, even if just for a moment.
Stay here for as long as you are able, perhaps only a breath or maybe a few minutes.
Seated Forward Fold (Paschimottanasana)
Seated forward fold can activate the relaxation response in the body, helping to lower blood pressure and reduce heart rate, stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system.
Practice this pose seated on a blanket, with your knees soft, and resting your upper body on a bolster or pillow.
Let yourself breathe and relax.
Gentle Twists
Twists are a great way to massage the internal organs and wring out any emotional or physical tension held in the abdomen and back. But if you’re dealing with grief or other heavy emotions, it’s important to approach twists with gentleness and sensitivity.
To do a gentle twist, start in a seated position with your legs crossed or straight out in front of you. Place your left hand on your right knee, and your right hand behind you. Gently twist to the right, using your breath to release any tension in the spine. Come back to the center, then switch sides.
For a more restorative option, take your gentle twist on the back, and use props for support.
Pigeon Pose (Eka Pada Rajakapotasana)
Pigeon pose is a deep hip opener that can help release tension and emotions stored in the hips and pelvis. It can also bring a sense of grounding and stability to the body when feeling scattered or anxious.
Use props to support yourself, and relax in the posture for a few moments. Breathing in and out with awareness.
If pigeon pose is a bit too intense or doesn’t feel right in your body, consider taking deer pose instead.
Legs-Up-The-Wall Pose (Viparita Karani)
This pose is exactly what it sounds like: you lie on your back with your legs up against the wall. It’s a great way to bring blood flow back to your upper body and head, which can help calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety. It’s also a gentle inversion, meaning it can help relieve any tension or stale energy in the legs and feet.
To do legs-up-the-wall pose, find a clear wall space and lie on your back with your butt up against the wall. Extend your legs up the wall and rest your arms at your sides. Stay here for as long as you’d like, connecting with your breath.
Chanting the Gayatri Mantra
This is a sacred hymn that is recited in order to seek blessings from the divine. It brings peace and calmness to the mind and soul.
The mantra is an expression of gratitude and praise to the powers of transformation, inner growth, and self-realization provided by the radiant light of the divine.
Om
Bhuh Bhuvah Svah
Tat Savitur Varenyam
Bhargo Devasya Dheemahi
Dhiyo Yo nah Prachodayat
This Sanskrit mantra is often translated as:
“O Divine mother, may your pure divine light illuminate all realms (physical, mental and spiritual) of our being. Please expel any darkness from our hearts and bestow upon us the true knowledge”.
Alternate nostril breathing
Called Nadi Shodhana in Sanskrit, this pranayama or breathing technique is ideal for when you truly feel like physical movement isn’t possible.
It will help you balance the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems in the body, helping to reduce anxiety and depression, as well as promoting a feeling of well-being and peace, even if for a few moments, bringing you to the present.
No matter how you move through loss, pain, and grief, is deeply personal. Know that you’re not alone, reach out to those you love and to your community; we are not meant to go it alone.
May any of these words and practices be of benefit to you in those times when you feel disheartened and stuck…
May you find some joy within the grief…
May you learn to breathe with the ebbs and flows of this life…
Speak soon, dear friends. 🙏🏾
Much love,
Laia
Sending you so much love during this difficult time. Thank you for sharing